(Tuesday 23 December 2008)
MALCOLM BURNS explains why this year's Christmas number one makes him happy.
THIS is the nearest I hope I'll come to a Christmas message, dear reader. I'm cheered by the fact that the Christmas number one chart-topper is Leonard Cohen's song Hallelujah.
It doesn't matter to me whether it's Alexandra Burke's dreadful X Factor interpretation or Jeff Buckley's or anyone's. I'll probably be tuned in to something else.
But the perverse relationship between pop music and Christmas is nicely illustrated for me by the thought that people are buying this complex and dark anthem to the power of sex, written by a Jewish man who is now a Buddhist.
I quite admire Cohen as a writer and musician and I never thought him depressing, that's just a stupid cliche.
Hallelujah isn't my favourite song of his. I think that he's written better tunes and sharper words, but it is certainly not the usual mind-numbing twee pap complete with bells and candles.
I'll not be the first to point out the incongruity of its ascent through the ITV show X Factor, complete with gospel choir and tinsel, belted out by a cabaret singer with a loud voice who clearly doesn't have the faintest idea what she is singing.
Hallelujah is certainly not a Christian song. If it leads in any religious direction at all, it's the wrathful, jealous god of the Old Testament who is in the frame here.
At least we are spared Sir Cliff coming out of every loudspeaker in the land with some inane homily.
Religion excels at making people feel that there is something meaningful just out of reach in what they can't easily understand.
Burke's hopelessly mistaken rendering of Hallelujah displays this kind of credulity. An ironic opiate for the masses indeed.
I had a similar glee when Lou Reed's Perfect Day - a very dark, very beautiful song about heroin addiction - sold millions and hit number one around Christmas a few years back after it was adopted by the BBC as a charidee single for Children in Need.
I am sure that Lou and Lenny can sing all the way to the bank for their royalties and deservedly so.
There, I just felt that I had to write that. Not much to do with Scotland, apart from the fact that it will be playing all over this land, much like everywhere else.
Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
Hallelujah! Here's my bum
HOW much of an ass can the law be? A man was sentenced to 12 months in prison at Glasgow Sheriff Court last week.His crime? Not a violent attack or robbery or fraud.
He was convicted under the catch-all Scottish charge of "breach of the peace" - for being naked.
The man is Stephen Gough, also known as the "Naked Rambler," a former marine from Hampshire and he has spent nearly the last 30 months in prison just for walking around with no clothes on, including a couple of hikes from Land's End to John O'Groats. Apparently the cost to the taxpayer of harassing this man has mounted to more than £200,000.
Gough told the court that, if people were offended by his nakedness, the problem was with them and not with him.
I agree. We are all naked under our clothes. Who cares if he wants to walk around with nothing on? Who is looking?
In some regards, Scotland is a very different country from the narrow Presbyterian place that it used to be a mere couple of decades ago. In others, it is clearly not.
Every time Gough is released from prison or discharged from court, it seems that he is immediately rearrested and stuck back in jail.
There is plenty of violent crime and socially abusive behaviour going on which extra police time could be devoted to instead.
I don't think that the powerful authority of Scots law should be bothered with the Naked Rambler. Free the Naked One!
Hands off the forests of Scottish people
AMONG the welcome plans for tackling climate change which have been made by the Scottish government, there is a very damaging proposal indeed.SNP Environment Minister Michael Russell has raised the idea of leasing out 25 per cent of the publicly owned forest estate to private investors for up to 75 years to help pay for action on climate change.
The plan is contained in a Scottish government consultation to seek views on how better use can be made of the assets of Scotland's national forest estate to help mitigate the effects of climate change.
The Scottish forestry trade unions - PCS, Unite, Prospect, GMB and the First Division Association - argue that the private lease proposal represents "the biggest challenge to forestry jobs, the integrity of the Forestry Commission and the sustainability of the Scottish forestry sector that we have seen for over 10 years."
It is a bad idea all round, in other words.
The unions are running a campaign to oppose this stealthy privatisation.
As well as preparing a detailed response to the consultation, they have launched an online petition which has already been signed by hundreds of people.
"I believe that Scotland's national forest estate is an invaluable asset that provides health, education, employment, conservation, heritage and recreation opportunities for people across the whole of Scotland and I call on the Scottish government not to lease 25 per cent of the estate to private investors but to keep it in public ownership and control."
If you're online and you agree with that, take five minutes now to sign up at www.fctu.org.uk/petitions
In homage to Caledonia
A HIGHLIGHT of my trip to Dundee a few weeks ago to join the local Trade Union Council's International Brigade celebrations was hearing Daniel Gray reading from and speaking about his new book Homage to Caledonia: Scotland and the Spanish Civil War.Unfortunately, I missed the actual book launch, which was held in the Iron Horse pub in Glasgow last week. Yes, I know that it was a bit of an oversight to miss a book launch in a pub.
So I'm glad to note that Gray will be speaking again on this subject at a public meeting on Saturday January 17 at 11am in the Unity Office, 72 Waterloo Street, Glasgow.
Homage to Caledonia gives an account of Scotland's fascinating relationship with the Spanish Civil War. It is based on the letters written home by Scots Brigaders, in the collection of the National Library of Scotland where Gray has been conducting his researches on the subject.
More people, proportionately, went from Scotland than any other nation. Some 549 Scots fought in Spain and support came from all parts of Scotland. Gray makes a powerful case about how action in and on Spain was a continuation of anti-fascist, progressive action in Scotland.
The book is published by Luath Press and can be bought online at www.luath.co.uk
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