MALCOLM BURNS reviews the latest goings-on north of the border.
Kicking up a stink at SEPA
I ONCE applied for a job with the Scottish Environmental Protection Agency (SEPA).
SEPA is a public regulatory body whose objectives include "minimised, recovered and well-managed waste" and "good water environments."
At the interview, I couldn't resist a flippant remark. I told the panel that I was sure that I would fit in at SEPA as I was myself about 85 per cent water and the rest was mostly sewage.
I didn't get the job. Hint to young job applicants, it's probably not worth making a joke at your interview. It still makes me laugh, though.
In the light of the Victorian style shown by SEPA in the last few months, I should maybe count myself lucky.
Since last November, SEPA has attempted to impose new pay and conditions on all staff unilaterally. Despite a motion of no confidence in the management, which was passed by 93 per cent of staff in December, bosses have forced many of them to sign the new contracts.
The 570 staff who refused have now been issued with termination notices. Sacked.
UNISON is currently organising workplace meetings across Scotland discussing action by SEPA staff to challenge the dismissals.
Branch chairman Alan Feming says that the union "will not allow members to be bullied and brow-beaten in this way and we will be considering all methods of challenging these Victorian labour relations - including by industrial action where appropriate."
This former SEPA reject looks forward to the day when the union gets the public body - yes, funded by us - to withdraw the dismissals and negotiate in a civilised manner.
I think I'll write asking First Minister Alex Salmond to ensure that SEPA applies two of its other main objectives, "a respected environment - protected, informed and engaged communities" and "economic well-being," to its own workers.
I wonder what his reply will be?
Smoke gets out your eyes
SCOTLAND will be two years smoke-free this month. The ban on smoking in public places came in here long before the reprobates down south summoned up the courage.
Talk then was of pubs closing and people breaking the ban. Well, there have been occasional penalty notices issued to pubs, hotels and even the odd smokist - I think smokers deserve their own -ism, don't you?
But the change has been almost universally accepted and even welcomed. Perhaps it was the best thing that Jack McConnell ever did.
A few of my friends really miss their ciggies in the pub and some of the old pubs are with us no longer, though maybe that would have happened anyway.
The nicotinistas gather outside nowadays. I usually join them for the crack.
I do the same any place where I am employed. Why should only smokist workers enjoy the benefit of the crafty wee fag break?
Seriously though, the health benefits of the ban are now starting to become evident - although there are still parts of Scotland where life expectancy is less than Third World countries and even war zones such as Iraq.
Stop the war now
OF COURSE, we should be as shocked by the death rates in Iraq and Afghanistan as those in Calton and Ruchazie.
It is five years since we turned out 100,000 people in Glasgow to protest before the illegal invasion of Iraq on the same day that a million marched in London and many more did the same around the world.
A month later, on March 20 2003, despite this unprecedented global public opposition, the killing began. The lowest reasonable estimate of deaths due directly to the action of George Bush and Tony Blair is 150,000.
More people died than were on the biggest demo that Scotland ever saw. It never gets less shocking. But the war still goes on.
Apparently, there's even more people against the war now than at that point. So, I am expecting a full turnout in Glasgow this Saturday March 15 for the latest Stop the War national demonstration.
The demo, which is again part of a worldwide day of protest, is supported by the STUC, Scottish CND and the Muslim Association of Britain (Scotland).
And you. Get to Blythswood Square on Saturday by 12 noon for the march to rally at Glasgow Green.
By the way, the demo will need plenty of stewards. If you can help, email SCND at adam.beese@banthebomb.org or phone (0141) 423-1222.
Aye, Write!
I AM looking forward this week to some events in the Glasgow Book Festival - Aye, Write!
I think I'll go and hear Nick Davies talking about his new book Flat Earth News, which blows the gaff on "churnalism," whereby the capitalist media - and the good old BBC - recycle mainly PR guff and you never get the real story.
Nothing like that in the Morning Star, readers. Here you get the unvarnished truth!
I also fancy the session on 1960s music with Joe Boyd, former record producer for bands such as Pink Floyd and Fairport Convention, and Peter Doggett, who wrote There's a Riot Going On about politics and popular music in the hippy years.
The line-up also includes big political names such as Tony Benn, Helena Kennedy and Morning Star cartoonist Martin Rowson.
Aye Right! runs until Saturday March 15.
Aye, Right
INCIDENTALLY, the Scots idiom is the only one known where two positives make a negative.
As in, Gordon Brown: "Let us embrace this new age of ambition."
The people of Scotland: "Aye, right."
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